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  1. #1
    toxy219's Avatar
    toxy219 is offline Master Gamer
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    Default My story I want to scare written as being said not written

    Secret Death
    A young boy age 11 , another young boy age 12 , and a young girl age 14 , all knew each other for years the two boys where almost brothers and the girls was like an older sister to them.
    Well one day they decided they would go for a hike in some deep woods in the mid of summer.
    They told there families and friends they'd be gone for a few days , they didn't know what they where in for this day.
    They got on the phone with each other seeing who had who the 11 year old boy (Joe) had waters , and chips , the 12 year old boy (James) had tents , fishing poles , and lanterns , the 14 year old girl (Sam) had everything else.
    They met up and went on in the woods and got further and further , 2 miles into the woods it was 8:00 p.m EST and they decided to make camp where they where in the middle of a clear area near a fruit tree and a river.
    Joe was scared of the area because of the loud animal sounds , when it was all set up Joe was in the tent first to claim his area in the tent so he was in the middle safe on both sides.
    at 11:00 p.m they saw a mountain lion crossing the path near there tent they grouped together while being scared to death by it's roar and it's size.
    The next day at 10 a.m James and Sam went fishing to get food and joe staid at there camp site while James and Sam where gone a bear came by and tried to take some food Joe tried to protect it but ws to week and got a gash on his arm an he screamed loud enough for them to run back to help him , they fixed his arm up toeep him alive for now.
    They cooked some fish they caught and gave most to Joe to keep his strength up , at 1 p.m they all went out for a brisk walk but James and Joe decided to go back because Joe was getting week , Sam staid out and a bear , mountainlion , and a hawk attacked her her cries where so loud her friends heard and they reced to where they heard the cries come from.
    Alas they where to late she was dead when they got to her her shirt was slashed appart from all the claws , there was no skin on her body , no eyes in her head , and had tenbroken bones in her body.
    The two boys after they stopped crying they burried her body by there camp site so they could morn every hour and every day they where out.
    They became lost since Sam had the map they made and they didn't remember , they checked there gell phones no signal , they where scared , and sad they wished they where home and none of this happend.
    Two days passed since Sam died ad the two boys where scared and not sure what to do so Joe went out fishing this time when he went out he caught a salmon in the river , but as we know bears love salmon , a bear was by the river side when he caught it and attacked him he soon noticed it was the same bear as before.
    The bear decided to take the salmon and kill him this time and sliced him at his knees and he fell and cried out in pain then he was attacked at his neck and he died but he got one more cry out and James came running to help but Joe was dead already.
    James draged his dead body to the camp site and burried him there next to Sam to morn his death two , the next day he stayed in the tent all day besides when he had to go to the bathroon.
    After 3 more sad days James got the moxy to walk to a random place then screamed as loud as he could to be heard every day for two days after the third day he was found.
    After he was all comfortable in his house the families of his friends asked where they where he said while sobbing and chocking up they where killed by animals and and and I couldn't help them.
    The next day James took everyone to where they where burried and the next day they hd a real berial.
    Baltimore sun 20th of June heading
    Two well liked students where killed while on a camping trip with there friend James the terribly depressed friend said and I quote "it's like we just left I wish I I I could turn back time and stop us before we left that day."
    Still here and still around




  2. #2
    kylar10's Avatar
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    Default Re: My story I want to scare written as being said not written

    Wow, suddenly EVERYONE is writing disturbing/ dark stories.... I BLAME SOPA!
    CALL TO ACTION: SUNSTONE VALLEY.
    FR IGN:Austin Rubyspear. Faithful Brony.
    Minecraft ID:K45D2. Virtous Paragon.


  3. #3
    toxy219's Avatar
    toxy219 is offline Master Gamer
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    Default Re: My story I want to scare written as being said not written

    If you read it how was it and I blame my mind it's dark and sad.
    Still here and still around




  4. #4
    GabbyClark1's Avatar
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    Default Re: My story I want to scare written as being said not written

    Well this sure is interesting. (But the grammer errors had made it a bit hard to understand some parts) Otherwise, it's okay.
    Spoiler: show
    Check out my poems thread. And no link o.o Find it yourself under the creative writing section o.o

  5. #5
    toxy219's Avatar
    toxy219 is offline Master Gamer
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    Default Re: My story I want to scare written as being said not written

    You try to type everything correct when you woke up at 3 a.m
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  6. #6
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    Default Re: My story I want to scare written as being said not written

    I have tried o.o Many times, at that.. o.o But I simply type slower.. But hey, it's still a great story. o.o
    Last edited by GabbyClark1; 01-20-2012 at 12:19 AM.
    Spoiler: show
    Check out my poems thread. And no link o.o Find it yourself under the creative writing section o.o

  7. #7
    Yoshinator's Avatar
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    Default Re: My story I want to scare written as being said not written

    Heart breaking... But a nice story!


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  8. #8
    toxy219's Avatar
    toxy219 is offline Master Gamer
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    Default Re: My story I want to scare written as being said not written

    Thanks as you can see if I need to think of something I will even if it's sad , mean , scary , evil , anything and thanks.
    Still here and still around




  9. #9
    Toxic Seth's Avatar
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    Default Re: My story I want to scare written as being said not written

    Toxy, Despise Everyone Else's Comments, I Really Enjoyed That Story!
    I had The Suspention, The Sadness, Heart Break, and The Scary parts,
    I felt Like i Was Right There, and When I Got Done, I Was Sad For James
    Very Depressing!
    Very Good Job Toxy!
    --Vórtex

    "Always Be Yourself, Because The people Who Mind Don't Matter and The People Who Matter Don't Mind."
    Dr. Seuss.

  10. #10
    toxy219's Avatar
    toxy219 is offline Master Gamer
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    Default Re: My story I want to scare written as being said not written

    Thanks I tried to make it as realistic and as life like as I could , and the sad thing is when I was only like 1 my best friend died , then at like 8 two of my best friends moved.
    Still here and still around




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