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Title: Frostbite A story I wrote.

  1. #1
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    pink is offline Amateur Gamer
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    Default Frostbite A story I wrote.

    Frostbite


    Emma Murphy walked up to the front door of her small old house. She knocks on the door and her little sister, Kitty answers. "Hey Emma what did you catch anything today in the woods?" Jenna said. "Rabbit." "Oh well mother said to roast it soon." "I'll be right on it Kitty." Kitty was the nickname for Kitta. Emma seasons the rabbit and puts it in the oven carefully. "How's my girls today?" Emma and Kitty's mother says. "Hey mom!" Both Emma and Kitty say. "It was cold outside today 30 degrees today! well I bought some bread and cheese for us to eat." "Oh well Emma caught some rabbit today, so what's it gonna be?" Kitty says. " I suppose rabbit." Mother says. "Emma what's on your face?" Mother said. "I tripped over a rock it's nothing don't worry." Emma said.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    This is a sneak peak I wrote all of this. Please do not copy right this un less you ask me. No rude comments but you can give nice tips.
    Last edited by pink; 11-27-2013 at 01:16 AM.
    zachpuppy likes this.
    Wanna know who's bday it is? me!!

  2. #2
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    zachpuppy is offline Master Gamer
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    Icon11 Re: Frostbite A story I wrote.

    Wow, I like it so far! I do have a tip for you. If you want, you can keep the dialogue from becoming cluttered by doing this:

    Lily went to the market today. As she picked up a box of noodles, her friend Rose walked up to greet her.
    "Hello, Lily!" Rose spoke happily.
    Lily looked up from reading the nutrition facts.
    "Oh, hey Rose!" Lily said.



    Dialogue looks more organized that way. The proper way is to press Tab once, right before adding dialogue, but I can't figure out how to do that on the forums.

    I look forward to reading the rest, if you decide to post it!
    Last edited by zachpuppy; 11-27-2013 at 01:26 AM.
    "I have the two qualities required to see absolute truth. I am brilliant and unloved."

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Frostbite A story I wrote.

    Quote Originally Posted by zachpuppy View Post
    Wow, I like it so far! I do have a tip for you. If you want, you can keep the dialogue from becoming cluttered by doing this:

    Lily went to the market today. As she picked up a box of noodles, her friend Rose walked up to greet her.
    "Hello, Lily!" Rose spoke happily.
    Lily looked up from reading the nutrition facts.
    "Oh, hey Rose!" Lily said.



    Dialogue looks more organized that way. The proper way is to press Tab once, right before adding dialogue, but I can't figure out how to do that on the forums.

    I look forward to reading the rest, if you decide to post it!
    Thank you for the helpful post are you a writer too ?
    Wanna know who's bday it is? me!!

  4. #4
    zachpuppy's Avatar
    zachpuppy is offline Master Gamer
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    Default Re: Frostbite A story I wrote.

    Quote Originally Posted by pink View Post
    Thank you for the helpful post are you a writer too ?
    I am, mostly. I am taking creative writing and I will be one when I grow up.
    "I have the two qualities required to see absolute truth. I am brilliant and unloved."

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Frostbite A story I wrote.

    Quote Originally Posted by zachpuppy View Post
    I am, mostly. I am taking creative writing and I will be one when I grow up.
    me too I love reading and writing
    zachpuppy likes this.
    Wanna know who's bday it is? me!!

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