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    Default The Phoenix Feather [Finished]

    The Phoenix Feather




    Part 1. Rialo.


    1. Fixing the Watch.

    Spoiler: show
    As you read this, you might begin to realise I live on another world, not Earth, like you maybe do. There is a possiblity that you are on a world were magic excists. Some planets, like Earth, Ophel, Perchera or some others out there you're probably not aware of, don't have magic on them. I don't know all of them planets either, there's simply too many of them for a Human, or Magus brain to take in.

    With that short interductory, I'm Rialo. My planet is Tyaena, named after our own Goddess of creation, Tytaeter. I waste my life away in a solitary little corner shop, fixing machines that careless people have dropped, scratched, smashed, or broken in any way. It doesn't pay very much, so you can know I live in a shabby old cottage on 41. Raidia street. We have basically only 137 streets, that's how small we are. It'd take about a week to travel around the whole world.

    Then one day, in barged Mr. Yetifey. Oniel Yetifey. He carried in a leather bag a wrist watch. Oh my, was it in quite a state. It was made of pure silver with diamonds embedded into it. The hands looked like they were only plastic painted silver. He threw it carelessly down onto the counter, before ringing the bell. I stumbled in, a great big, black furnace mark on my apron from welding stuff.
    "Another watch?" I moaned.
    "Not just any watch." He beamed, his left arm punching his right. "It's a encrusted watch."
    I tried to laugh, but nothing wanted to come.
    "I've fixed four watches in the past three days." I groaned. "But buisness is buisness." I added on.
    "How much do you want?" He smiled.
    "You're going to ask me to price it? It's in quite a state. It'd be hard to fix, and I'd waste two days working time." Well, maybe I exaggerated there.
    "How much then?" He asked, eagerly.
    "Fifty Tyaens." I said casually. "In advance."
    His smile faded.
    "Isn't that a bit overpriced?"
    "Two days, it'll take me. I earn about that in two days. If you want this watch fixing, it's fifty Tyaens. You see any other Fixing Magus in this town? Not quite. If you don't get it fixed here, it doesn't get fixed." I smiled. I'd laid the bombshell.
    "Here." He sighed, pulling out the money. "But I want extra detail; nothing gets left out, or I'll have you sued. I want every little feature fixed perfectly." His voice was cold, bone chilling, and not pleasant. "I'll be back in three days, three 'O clock on the dot. If it's not done by then..." His eyes flashed yellow, and flame glared in his hand.
    "Then time's up." His smile retured, as he said, "Cheerio!" And walked out the shop, both hands in robe pockets.
    "I'd better start now." I gulped, taking the watch into the back.

    The fixing took forever. My magic didn't want to work at first.
    "Equeriem!" I screamed at the watch, trying to fix the arms. "Dussometch!" I yelled. But yes, I did get there in the end. By night that day, I'd gotten a half-fixed watch.
    "Rizemtz." I whispered, putting on a simple defence spell so nobody could sneak in and take it. Walking out the door and putting the sign on closed, I headed home. Life couldn't get more boring.


    2. Classic Escape.

    Spoiler: show

    We've all heard of classic escapes, haven't we? Normally, it's some normal guy trying to escape from somebody. This one was extra classic, and scary at the same time.
    "Uldonsre." The furnace flared at the fire spell, hands forming from the blast. It set to work on the watch, and it did a very good job, too. Spells are all the in pronounsiation. One little syllable wrong could result in disaster. You'll always have that spell you can't do. I have a weakness of Ground spells - I normally get hit in the face with a few rocks, no matter how hard I try. It's a very good job that I'm good at healing spells. Otherwise, my nose would be leaning over to the left side of my face.

    It all happened when I lost focus. I heard a noise to the left of me, and turned to look. My hands went to my mouth. The fire just burned, and burned, and burned.
    "Holy Reopel!" I shouted. The watch was clearly very melted. It'd take weeks for even an Adept to get something out of that state.
    "Tytaeter above!" I'd become as hot as the furnace.
    Yes, then it hit me. It was a watch, right? No matter how melted it was, with the right spell, it'd take me back in time. I wasn't good at this, but I needed about ten minutes. I'd fix it by hand. Or with less more risky spells.

    Taking hold of the watch, I muttered, "Shimu, Ivoyre, Ojevere, Neferu." There was a feeling. One like I was flying or something. I daren't open my eyes. But surely enough, they opened slowly. One word ran through my head:

    No!
    The watch was still melted.

    Everything happened so fast after that.
    The bell rang, and Oniel Yetifey barged in. He wasn't suppost to be here until tomorrow!
    "You're not ment to be here until tomorrow." I told him.
    "I'm not." He said. "You said three days. So here I am."
    My eyes shot to the calender. Oh, shoot! 13th of August. I'd transported myself forward a day.

    I was out the door in four seconds, using a speed spell I'd discovered myself to bolt down the road. I was in the park the next minute, sweating. Why me?
    "You can't get away." Came a voice from beside me. Oniel. He had fire in his palm, and was juggling about with it.
    "I know magic, too!" I snarled. "I just made two mistakes. I lost focus with the furnace...I was ment to take myself back with a time spell...But I came forward in time."
    Oniel shook his head.
    "These Magus with time spells. Dangerous things."
    "Dangerous? It's only time." I laughed, despite the situation.
    "Only?" He shouted. "Without time, we wouldn't be here!" He was screaming at me.
    "If you don't get back, it could mean the end for us all!" He yelled. "Do you know what you've done?" He looked like he desperately wanted to hit me, and I didn't blame him.
    "I'm only fourteen!" I shouted back. "Plus, you threatened to kill me."
    He shrugged. "Yeah, maybe that was a bit harsh."
    I whimpered.
    "If you don't find the Phoenix Feather, you'll never get back. You'll have killed us all. I'll leave it to you from here."
    He walked off, leaving me to stand there.


    3. The Truth.

    Spoiler: show
    What's the Phoenix Feather? I stood there for an hour wondering, so many things I wanted to ask. But to who? There were many people who might know something about this. I'd totally forgotten about the melted watch in my pocket, and the fact someone desperatally wanted to talk to me. I was scanning my thoughts for someone who might be able to help. There were countless librarians in the county, and with the fact Oniel said I hadn't got to dawdle, there was only time to visit about five. I hoped I was a good guesser - I certainly couldn't depend on luck.

    My first library guess was Ralum Inget. It was a local library, and I didn't expect anything local to be useful at all. I'd be amazed if I could go to a library on the other side of the world and get a result. Nothing local can ever do anything - it'd simply be far too easy.

    Walking into Ralum's library, I approached the front desk, actually shaking a little bit.
    "Do you have any books on the Phoenix Feather?" I asked. The librarian looked rather surprised.
    "What would you need that for?" She lowered her specticles in suspicion.
    "Erm...It's a rumor going around. I need a book on it, so I can, you know...Support the rumor?" I don't think I ever came out with a more random sentance after that. Support the rumor.
    "We might have something...Somewhere..." She stared at me, turning to walk out from behind the desk. To my dismay, she walked over to the thickest book in the entire place, taking it out with one hand. The book fell straight to the floor. The librarian handed me that book, and my arm wanted to snap off at its weight.
    "Thanks." I wheezed, walking over to a chair to try and find something, just anything.

    On the way to the next library. That book was useless - It wasn't even titled, 'The Phoenix Feather.' It was named, 'Rumor Support.' Curse my stupid exuses. All it said was stuff I already knew.

    "The Phoenix Feather is a myth with no evidence of exsistance. No one knows anything about it, apart from the few who have actually seen it." That was all it told me.

    Then it hit me - It had given a very small thing away, a very small clue. 'Few who have actually seen it.' Some people actually knew stuff! I couldn't give up, then. I was only a day ahead of my time. One day. What harm could that do?

    The next library was all together colossal. The front desk was, in comparison, a small speck to the right of the entance. There was a ticket lying on the desk, and a frowning woman stood behind it.
    "Write what book you're looking for here." She pointed with a pen to an area of the ticket.
    I wrote down the 'The Phoenix Feather.' And gave it to her.
    "Miss. Cynn, please could you direct customer number..." She picked out another ticket from a pot. "83, to aisle number 34, please, book, Phoenix Feather."
    Then, she held out her hand. "Five Tyaens." She said. I handed her the money, which I'd luckily stuck in my coat pocket.

    Miss. Cynn was round the corner in a flash, grabbing my arm and guiding me through the maze of books.
    "Rialo Cresmi!" She gasped. "I've been looking forward to seeing you."
    I didn't know this girl. She was fairly young, but I'd never even seen her before.
    "How do you me?" I said slowly.
    "My mother knew Oniel." She said.
    "That man tried to kill me." I shouted at her. I hated his name. I hated his guts.
    "Who'd try to kill their own daughter?" She cried.
    "Daughter?" I asked.
    "Didn't you know?" She gasped. "He's your dad!"
    The whole library seemed to tell us, 'Shh.'



    4. Knowing

    Spoiler: show
    I didn't feel anything. I felt too much to feel. Cynn shook me.
    "What's your first name?" I moaned.
    "Come outside." She whispered. "I'll tell you then."
    I was on the brink of unconciousness. Oniel? Yes, I'd never really gotten to know him in person, but he'd threatened to kill me. Tried to. If he'd caught me in the shop, I'd have been dead. What was so special about that watch that he'd kill his own daughter over it?

    Outside, the first thing Cynn said was, "Uime Cynn."
    "Okay." I muttered. "Tell me everything you know."
    It was a long conversation.

    "Your Father - Lord Oniel Yetifey. Your mother, Lady Percin Yetifey."
    "Wait." I interuppted. "If their last name was Yetifey, then how come mine's Cresmi?"
    "You don't remember? No, of corse you don't. You forgot everything on the 12 of May, four years ago. You were ten. You couldn't remember anything. You could only remember your name. Rialo. That is actually your name. You couldn't remember your last, so you gave yourself the name Cresmi, after your best friend, Cremsi. Of course, this was the doing of Nirm, the Phoenix. She dropped her feather, and it landed into the hands of Percin and Oniel."
    She paused, and took a very long breath. She held a finger in the air, and wiped the hair out of her face.
    "Percin and Oniel had a long bicker over who got the Feather. It's capable of taking people back in time. Percin claimed the Feather, and ran away. At this point, she knew her life was gone. No point in living. She commited suicide. Her true love hated her and would kill her anyway, and her daughter had ran away from her. Nobody ever found her body. They say the Feather took it to rest in the deepest levels of Umer, as a punishment for her life. She is charged to 100 years their, slowed. Then, she'll go Perish, and spent the rest of her life dieing over and over again. All this time, she'll see pictures of you and Oniel, loving the fact she isn't there. And she didn't do anything."

    Uime sat down on the bench behind her.
    "That was just your parent's history. Not much to do with you, the information you need, or stuff along the lines of that. We'll need to go somewhere more private to discuss that, though."

    We hurried along to Uime's house, as she wanted to go there.
    Opening the door, we both ran in. Uime opened a book, and began to read it to me.

    "The Phoenix Feather. It was first discovered in 627 AD, on Cartporre, by Arren Sygi. It was discovered on the top of Mount Ronnu. The Feather was found to be able to turn back time..."
    I felt a tear drop from my eye. I knew why they wanted it. They wanted to turn back time. They'd just wanted me back. I wiped the tear away with the back of my sleeve.
    "Okay? You okay?" I nodded. "Alright. It was also able to grant someone any wish, which was why the Phoenix, also known as Brightmore, was sealed away. It escaped in 2008, shedding but one of it's Feathers, before being sealed away again. Brightmore is now thought dead." She paused.
    "I don't know if you'd like to know this." She said.
    "What?" I asked. I then gasped as words appeared on the page. Just writing themselves on. What did it say?
    Oniel Yetifey stole the Feather, which was at that time in the form of a melted watch, from Rialo Yetifey, in 2011."

    We both turned round, gulping. Oniel stood, dangling the watch.
    "Too late." He smiled. It suddenly wasn't a watch anymore.

    Before us, was the Phoenix Feather.



    5. Standoff

    Spoiler: show
    Oniel kicked the door down, and bolted down the street. It was like me five hours ago.
    "Quindeu!" Uime screamed, running after him, some little fizzling balls of electricity in her hands.
    "Quindeu!" I copied her. My result wasn't as good, but it was my first try at that spell, so better than nothing. I ran after Uime, who was running after Oniel, who was running.

    After half an hour of running, it became misty. Very misty. I crashed into a wall, before running off into the other direction, or just into another wall .
    "Try the spell, Aromin." Uime suggested. She looked 17 at the oldest, so she'd probably had some more advanced training.
    "Aromin!" We both shouted in unison. Oniel was our lock on target.
    "Most advanced spell I know." Uime laughed. My body began to run automatically alongside Uime's.
    "The Hexum cells track down the most hated Magus in one's head, and don't stop until you tell them. This gives you a running boost, too." She was right - we were both getting closer to Oniel my the milisecond.
    "Oh, Fhrendz!" He shouted, suddenly going faster. He'd probably used some sort of speed spell, too.

    We'd been running for three hours, and Oniel looked absolutely wrecked. He held both hands up in the air.
    "I give up." He panted. Uime's body and my body slowed to a stop.
    "Give us the Feather." Uime demanded.
    "Why would I?" I sneered. "I can have a normal life, with my daughter and my wife."
    His face turned dark.
    "Not too bad." Uime shrugged.
    "Oh, it's still bad. Even worse. Only wanted to kill them myself. For the Feather. They'd be a start of my undead army." He was leaning onto the armrest of a bench now, face drained of all energy.
    "Kill him!" I yelled, the Quindeu electricity still in my hands. I threw it down onto Oniel, and his body juttered. His screams filled the backalley.
    "Resendor!" He screamed at me. A burning sensation threw my body against the nearest wall. Black, black, black.

    I heard noise all around me. Uime's screams. Oniel's screams, and finally the sound of someone hitting the wall. Uime. It was Uime. She was gone, Oniel had killed her.
    No, Oniel had re-killed her. I knew that Uime wasn't Uime. She was Percin, I'd had the chance to save her, but didn't. Someone - something - had given her a second chance. But she was gone then, and I was never going to get her back.


    Part 2. Percin



    6. Death after death.

    Spoiler: show
    Nobody would want to be me right now. I spent my time dieing. Over and over again. Nobody would understand me, how I'd done nothing wrong, how I was the victim, and not the criminal. Yes, I'd done suicide, but that was to get me out of one nightmare. Now, I was trapped inside another one.

    Today was especially painful. I think I had a few blood clots, and the Black Death they'd put on me was starting to near an end. My end, too. But I'd just be reborn here, only to die again. I hated it. But then again, who wouldn't? I had to explain, but I couldn't leave my circle. It was all my husband's fault - When that Phoenix shead a feather, it had to land were me and Oniel would fight over it. He'd wanted power, I'd wanted my old life back. Earlier in the week, I tried to help Rialo, my daughter, in the form of a girl called Uime. She was only a fragment of my imagination. I can't do any magic now, I'm drained from using that spell.

    I'm cursed to spending 100 years here. In Earth time. Earth time drags on slower than anything. 1000 years on Earth would only be 1 year on Tyaena. I was in a Tyaena zone, so Earth time clashed with Tyaena land. I'd be 10,000 years ahead of when I came down here when I was let out. I think that would only make me want to commit suicide all over again, really.

    I don't know why exacally I was put in this afterlife jail thing. And what was I saying, when I was let out? I was dead. I'd just go to Perish, where I'd spend my eternity in pain and suffering. Life couldn't get much worse.

    I was going to die. I felt my heart stop, then my blood slow. The Black Death wasn't helping, but regardless of whether I had it or not, I'd die. I couldn't breathe any more. This caused my vision to blur, multicoloured dots forming everywhere, like my eyes were a broken TV screen. I clutched my chest and screamed, falling to the floor in the process. I'd only been here for four years. About three months on Tyaena.

    That was when I got very, very annoyed. Before I died, I heard them say something.
    "Oniel Yetifey - dead for the 87th time." It was a boring voice, but I now knew everything. They thought I was Oniel! I was taking his punishment for him. Oh, Kreifer! What did I ever do to deserve this?


    7. Merelbre's assistance.

    Spoiler: show
    The next day, my dieing wasn't as bad. I think it was Cancer or something, so I maybe even had a few weeks before I died. I had to get out of the circle I was stuck in, though. Hopefully, my magic recharged while I was dead.
    "Buffendai!" I shouted at the circle. I didn't know what spell that was, I'd just really said a random word in the Maguinse style. I did know, though, it was a very powerful spell. Some kind of beam shot out of me, smashing into the circle. The circle's edge shattered like glass. Psychic spell. Very powerful Psychic spell.

    Outside the circle, many things were surrounding me. I didn't think I'd have the energy to kill them.
    "Kyresten!" I yelled. Electric charge formed in my palms, getting bigger by the millisecond.
    "Fire!" I voice yelled. Bullets were shot and magic casted, but the electricity in my hands sizzled and cracked, before exploding into massive sphere that hopefully killed everything in the room.

    Only then did I realise where I'd got the spells from. They were the names of Gods. Why were they helping me? I didn't have time to stop and think - Adepts were closing in on me, fire in their hands, clumps of earth following. I was desperately thinking of names. God of destruction...
    "Locherum!" I said, quietely. I'd almost forgot I was ment to die sometime soon. That was why it surprised me when I fell to the floor, aching all over. I didn't see what happened after I sort of...Cast Locherum, as I was doubled over in pain. All I knew is that something happened, as all the Adepts lay cripple on the floor, rather dead.
    "Merelbre..." I gasped. I shut my eyes from the glare as light surrounded me.
    "Merelbre..." I whimpered again, this time adding on, "Please, help me, Merelbre." I fought with death for an hour, light still glaring. Then a light sensation hit me. Merelbre stood.
    "You did not do anything against our laws." She smiled. She appeared as a kind old woman, with grey hair and wrinkles. "So we wanted to let you go. You are a brave young lady, Percin. We are proud to call you our own."
    I was too busy clutching my chest to notice.
    "Yeah, the colour blue's pretty cool." I gasped.
    "Oh." Said Merelbre. "Sorry." I was on my feet with no trouble.
    "Thanks." I muttered. "I did hear you." I added with a smile.
    "We want you to join us, Percin. Nobody has powers like yours. Become one of us. Then you may have anything. Your daughter, as one."
    Wow, dilemma.
    "I'm really not interested." I tried. I wasn't going to test Merelbre's patience. Not a Goddess.
    "Re-think it. This world will end someday soon. Someday too soon." Her face was grim.
    "Using natural elements slowly causes the world to buckle. You are drawing Earth from somewhere, you are using the air. Fire comes from the heat of the sun. You are using water from the Earth's face." She shook her head, sadly.
    "You may decide again, only once. The Gods shall be with you."

    Then she was gone, leaving me to run on through the caves myself. I had to get out.

    After hours on end of nothing but running, I finally saw light. Adjusting myself, I strode out, to see the sun again.
    Merelbre's words hung inside my head, but shaking them off, I laughed. A laugh that I was out, that I could see the sun again.


    9 Years Before...

    Part 3. Brightmore




    8. Known Betrayal.


    Spoiler: show


    This was not in the slightest bit fun. I don't think I'll even dream of going that fast ever again. My wings ached as I flew. I was going so fast I swore I would burn myself to a crisp. I learned that day that dragons are very fast flyers.
    "Stop there!" A dragon bellowed. I got such a shock as he was right behind me.
    "Why are you after me?" I cried, diving about twenty metres down. The dragon did thesame, in a much less graceful manor. He basically just let himself fall. That's why dragons end up with millions of holes in their wings. They don't land or fly down properly.
    "Master wants a feather." The dragon smiled a toothy grin.
    "Never!" I cried, trying desperately to make myself to faster.

    "It's no good, phoenix." The same dragon's voice echoed around me. It was impossible for it to echo in the sky, but I soon figured out it was aload of dragons behind me. There had only been two half an hour ago, now there was about six, all with ferocious, hungry fire burning in their mouths. The dragon who'd spoken to me shot first. It hit my wing, and I spiraled down, before replying with an attack of my own. I flew above him, and fell, beak-first. He rolled over, swating me aside with a wing. Another dragon fired at that time. I managed to roll out the way of three more fire blasts, before deciding I was weak. I simply let myself fall.

    "No good trying to commit suicide!" A voice shouted. I knew the voice from somewhere. It was someone I knew all too well. I knew he would betray me, and betray the book, but fate is fate. I had to live my life as chosen.
    I then realised I was on solid ground. My eyes snapped open. I must have somehow passed out when I fell. And been saved. Somehow.
    Although it was miraculous, I was dissapointed to see the face I saw right then.
    "Oniel." My voice was gritty.
    "Correct." His voice was suddenly sharp and quiet.
    "I think it'd be a good idea to hand over the feather. Now." He smiled, reaching out his hand.
    "Rude." I scoffed, jumping backwards.
    "You know I am a Warlock. Warlocks are much more powerful than simple Beasts Of The Mother." Oniel scoffed back.
    "You're the rude one." I snapped back, swiping at him. A magic barrier of some sort appeared, and blocked me. "Shoot." I moaned.
    "I shall force it from you, stubborn." Oniel laughed. I found myself drifting into a deep, deep sleep. And I know he took the feather, chained me up and escaped on dragonback.


    2 months after Cynn's death

    9. Our ends.

    Spoiler: show
    Finally. I was free again. Nine years in that prison of chains and torture. Now I could fly free, not restrained by the chains that hung around my wings and body.
    But then...Then I saw them all. A young girl, two dragons, and him. Him. I let out a shriek that caused all their heads to swivel in my direction.
    "You're free!" Screamed Oniel, not dodging my claws, but leaving himself to fall prey to my fateful talons.
    "Face your death." I hissed, spitting little ashes that sizzled on Oniel's skin. He winced and lashed out.
    "You're not meant to be here." He told me. I gave him a look.
    "I know. But I am here. I am here and you cannot do anything about it." I retorted.
    "So, when do you give me the feather?" I asked.
    "Never." He said.
    My flame erupted. The force of all my feathers at once. Oniel let out a roar as he became entangled in the blast, dissolving to nothing.

    But it wasn't over.
    The two dragons. I recognised one of them from nine years earlier. He swooped toward me, spitting flame that I dodged, my claws grappling at his wings, as to tear them and send him pummelling to the ground.
    He hit me twice, once in the face, one in the wing. I shrieked, and prodded him with my beak. The other dragon flew down, implanting his claws in my back. I couldn't take the pain...
    I fell, accepting my cruel, cruel fate.

    Rialo's P.O.V

    The fire bird was falling. One dragon had it's claws implanted in the poor thing's back, the other one was gripping it's neck. I knew...I knew the fire bird was dead. Dead before it hit the floor, dead as soon as that dragon had implanted it's claws into it's back. Dead.
    But it's death had not been in vein. Oniel was dead now...And his feather?

    I saw the feather in the distance. Floating downward...Shining. The orange feather that had just a week ago been handed to me in my workshop. Since then, so many things had changed.
    "Un'Gahmei."
    I shot forwards, sprinting toward the feather. I had competition; the two dragons were swooping toward it too.
    My hand closed around it.
    "I am not dead yet." Said one of the dragons.
    I turned around.
    "Yes, I am alive still. I am not dead...Not yet!" Oniel screeched, diving for me.
    "Brightmore...Help!" I said, clutching the feather even tighter.
    And there I was, flying towards Oniel. My wings beating. I was Brightmore.
    Oniel's flame brewed in his mouth.
    "You shall die!" He shot the fire at me. I felt it burn against me, and shrieked, the ashes reflecting and burning Oniel's rough dragon skin.
    "Never." I said, charing at him.
    "Hm." He grunted, charging at me.
    Believe...
    I crashed into him. The flames imploded, sending me spinning back. I only got a matter of seconds to see Oniel spinning toward the ground, clearly very dead. This was before I was back on the ground, in my human body. The explosion caught me, my body buckled.
    And I fell dead.



    Horaaaaay! I story I managed to finish. Even if it had a not so great ending.
    So yes, you may say your congratulations because I actually FINISHED it.
    (Even though it was a rubbish ending haha. x3)
    -Does dance- x]
    Last edited by ninjablade2000; 03-09-2012 at 03:12 PM.
    hello



  2. #2
    GabbyClark1's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Phoenix Feather

    Very good. Excellent and unique. Different from other stories I have read in this section. Keep writing.
    Spoiler: show
    Check out my poems thread. And no link o.o Find it yourself under the creative writing section o.o

  3. #3
    ninjablade2000's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Phoenix Feather

    First time someone has ever replied to one of my stories in seven minutes. Ty Gabby. ^^
    hello



  4. #4
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    Default Re: The Phoenix Feather

    Quote Originally Posted by ninjablade2000 View Post
    First time someone has ever replied to one of my stories in seven minutes. Ty Gabby. ^^
    xD I was gonna mention that, but decided not to.
    I saw the thread when it was made, so I decided to read the story.
    Spoiler: show
    Check out my poems thread. And no link o.o Find it yourself under the creative writing section o.o

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    Default Re: The Phoenix Feather

    I Find your Ability for writing impressive i really like it.


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    Default Re: The Phoenix Feather

    Claire = Impressed.

    "Know therefore that the LORD your God is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments..." -Deuteronomy 7:9


  7. #7
    GabbyClark1's Avatar
    GabbyClark1 is offline Master Gamer
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    Default Re: The Phoenix Feather

    See? o: People like your story so much, they are posting by the minute XD (That's better than what my story got already xD)
    Spoiler: show
    Check out my poems thread. And no link o.o Find it yourself under the creative writing section o.o

  8. #8
    ninjablade2000's Avatar
    ninjablade2000 is offline Master Gamer
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    Default Re: The Phoenix Feather

    Woah, yeah. I'm writing Chapter Two now...;o Let's hope people still like it.
    hello



  9. #9
    GabbyClark1's Avatar
    GabbyClark1 is offline Master Gamer
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    Default Re: The Phoenix Feather

    I love chapter two! Very good.

    And I would have responded sooner, but I didn't know that you made chapter two, because you hadn't posted saying that you added in chapter two xD
    Spoiler: show
    Check out my poems thread. And no link o.o Find it yourself under the creative writing section o.o

  10. #10
    ninjablade2000's Avatar
    ninjablade2000 is offline Master Gamer
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    Default Re: The Phoenix Feather

    Added in Chapter 3...I probably will never finish this. :/

    All Lies lol, I finished. ;o Stop telling LIES, Ninja...
    Last edited by ninjablade2000; 03-19-2012 at 04:00 AM.
    hello



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