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Title: Disc Trap

  1. #1
    spazking55's Avatar
    spazking55 is offline Pro Gamer
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    Dec 2009

    Default Disc Trap

    This is the first chapter of a story I have been writing. I decided to post it on here because i need to know if it is any good. Please tell me if you like my story so far.

    This is the beginning of an epic story. One so amazing it stretches your mind to its limits. You decide if it’s true or not.

    Chapter 1

    Ben, Jordan, Micah, John, Mikey, and Izzy were normal kids in a normal town. They went to school, played sports, had friends, and their lives seemed simple just like other kid’s. That all changed on Ben’s 12th birthday.
    Ben was an average sized boy with long blonde hair that went to his shoulders. He had and bright green braces and occasionally wore glasses but mostly used contacts. Ben was very smart and athletic. He always got straight A’s and was usually top of his class. He played soccer whenever he could.
    Jordan was a short kid with short brown hair. He was funny and annoying at the same time. He was very athletic and got average grades. Jordan got in trouble for being too aggressive all the time.
    Micah was tall and had short blonde hair. He wore glasses all the time. He usually got average grades, and was average at sports. He was obsessed with Disney and his computer.
    John was tall and had short blonde hair. He wore glasses but mostly used contacts. He was beast at sports and got great grades. He played all sports but liked football the best. He got good grades so he got B’s.
    Mikey was an average sized kid with long black hair. He had braces and a tongue cage so he had a mouth full of metal. Mikey was a video game freak and a total spaz. He played soccer and was fairly good.
    Izzy was black and wore glasses. He had short black hair and was about as tall as Ben. He was beast at sports. He knew way to much about superheroes and was always joking around.

    On his 12th birthday Ben had a sleepover. He invited his five best friends: Izzy, Micah, Mikey, John, and Jordan. They partied all through the night, eating, playing videogames, pranking, and making lots of noise. Finally everyone fell asleep, everyone except Ben that is.
    He couldn’t sleep so he got up and turned on his PS2. He turned down the volume so he wouldn’t wake anyone and noticed something odd. There was already a game in the machine. He took it out and looked at it. It was just a blank disc. Ben was puzzled so he put the disc back in and started it up. After a few seconds a loud beeping sound came from the PS2. It woke all of Ben’s friends up.
    They all started yelling at Ben for waking them up but then he told them about the disc and they were quiet. The silence didn’t last long though because a soft hum started echo around them.
    ” What is that,” asked Micah. “I think it’s coming from the game,” replied Mikey. “ Well duh,” was all Jordan could say.
    All of a sudden the TV screen started to glow. Everyone felt it at the same time. It was a weird floating sensation. It turned out they were floating they looked down and all that they saw was black.
    “Whoa!” Was all that anyone could say.
    After a few minutes of floating the six boys started to see a light in the distance. It got brighter and brighter until they had to close their eyes. When they opened them they were on the ground in a jungle. The thought occurred to all of them at the same time….
    They were inside the game.
    Last edited by spazking55; 08-18-2010 at 07:15 PM.
    The Magic It Calls To Me!

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